


Karma's Bitch

by HiyaDude



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bitch of an oc, Eventual Yaoi, Karma's assistant, M/M, My OMC is definitely the bottom is that is the case, possible sex if i ever learn how to write smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-02-21 16:47:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2475350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiyaDude/pseuds/HiyaDude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Kiss my asexual ass, mother f******'s, you'll never catch me alive! MUAHAHA-" The trolling I was spouting out at my fellow spirits was cut short when I saw the golden flash of a whip from the corner of my eye. It wrapped around my ankle and I was hanging upside down in the next instant. I cleared my throat "Now when I said kiss my ass-" The big bunny held up it's paw as a signal for me to shut up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A thousand reasons to run

**Author's Note:**

> Hope ya like it!

I woke up slowly, not quite wanting to leave my dreamless sleep.

Something was making a lot unnecessary noise though, and it was getting increasingly annoying.

I lifted one of my arms off of my face to see the annoying source of it.

It was a dog.

An ugly little Chihuahua that was yapping away.

I threw my whole body up into a sitting position on the bench that I was laying on.

I stared at the chihuahua and it stared back in my general direction, never ceasing the barking onslaught.

Yawning loudly, I stretched out my entire body. The process included me raising my arms above my head, tilting my head way back, stretching my legs out as far as they could go, curling my bare toes, and twisting my torso to the left. A satisfying assortment of pops and cracks resounded and then I let myself go limp again.

That thing was still barking.

I gave it another glance before I used my arms to launch myself into a standing position. I was still a little disoriented so I stumbled on my way over to the dog. It couldn't see me but it knew I was there.

I had given up trying to find out why only animals seemed to be able to know when I was near and just figured it was some natural 'sixth sense' thingy.

I stopped right in front of the little mutt barking with that high squeaky voice it had.

I glared at it.

Then brought back my leg and whipped it out, kicking it with my bare foot. It launched at least five feet into the air and was so stunned at being suddenly attacked by an invisible force that it quit barking for the three seconds it was air born.

It landed with a thump and a yelp.

The chihuahua ran off with its tail between its legs, whimpering and yipping.

I snickered.

Wonder if I should chase that thing and give it a few extra kicks for the road. I stared after the rat, watching it disappear around a corner. Nah, it wasn't worth the chase, my back was just killing me!

Note to self: Next time choose mattress store to take a nap in.

Ah, it felt like I pulled a muscle when I stretched too. 'Eh, I guess I just need to walk it off while going through town.' I smiled at the thought and made my way down the sidewalk to do just that. I had that kid's movie song still stuck in my head from when I had watched it a weak ago.

I was a sucker for cartoon movie villains. They always made me laugh. I whistled the tune, and sang as I strutted down the side walk, hands in my jean pockets. There was a young couple that consisted of a cute, freckled, redhead of a girl and a tall, dark, and handsome boy coming up ahead.

The large third eye on my forehead twitched slightly and opened wide.

Oooh, looks like that boys been naughty, his aura was tinted a deep gray which meant that he had really messed up his balance of good and bad. Right now he was tipping his scale towards the bad side and would end up a cockroach in the next life if he went unpunished.

There was also an oncoming red car about to pass.

I put those two together.

I kept walking and right when I was about to pass him I held out my foot to trip up the tall pretty boy so he would fall just the right way into the street and have a leg or two run over by speeding car. He better hope he breaks both legs, his balance was way off and he needed as much help as he could get.

I kept walking ignoring the screech of both the tires and his little girlfriend (whose aura was not that bad) followed by a loud crunch and an agonized scream.

"You're welcome!" I called out over to them even though I knew they couldn't hear me.

I grinned.

' _Nothin' like helping a person in need._ ' I thought happily to myself.

Leaving behind the mess that I had just caused (out of the goodness of my heart) for someone else to work out, I started towards the busy town district.

I passed stores without really looking at them, already knowing that I was in the fast food district, but I wasn't hungry. I had eaten a ton of cupcakes right before I had gone to sleep. I walked straight through whoever happened to step in my path on the sidewalk, occasionally pushing some people down to skin their hands or knees to help them atone for some minor misdeeds.

Ah, the joy of being able to only touch for the purpose of my job...Sarcasm, learn it and use it well my friends. No on gets a hug as a karma assistant.

When I passed a particularly bad aura of a man with slicked back hair, wearing a business suit and talking rather loudly into a blue tooth, I immediately wanted to pick on him.

I very smoothly reached into his back pocket that held his larger than average wallet and pulled it out. I didn't bother to look inside, I just threw it into a passing sewer drain under the sidewalk.

It might seem messed up for me to judge people based only on their aura, but I had learned a long time ago not to question the system. The system had a rule of _'no questions asked, why the fuck you asking questions for, you want to get fired?'_ and I intended to follow it to do my job forever, otherwise Karma would get pissed.

I still do mess up with her a lot though.

I can't remember how many times that woman has chewed me out for being unfocused or sleeping on the job. But I guess I can't really blame her for that.

Karma's only a bitch if you are.

Speaking of which, I probably should have been back to the temple hours ago.

Crud.

Okay, since I'm already screwed let's make her inevitable punishment for me less by doubling my quota for the day! Instead of 425 ' _judged_ ones' let's make it 850! I pulled out my little transportation charm from my jeans and swung it in front of my face, back and forth by its thin gold chain.

The jobs that I liked the most were the punishment ones, the rewarding jobs were okay, but a lot less entertaining and harder to complete.

I was looking for quick easy jobs to make it look like I wasn't just fooling around on my shift, "Hmmm, where are the most likely punishment jobs that are quick and easy?" I asked the charm that held a small dark blue crystal orb in a gold lining to keep it in place.

The orb swirled with a gold liquid for a moment before coming up with the places name.

New Orleans.

GOD, I love that place! It was my favorite punishment place to visit, so festive. I laughed and dropped the charm onto the sidewalk ground. As soon as it hit the concrete a large gaping hole of black and white wisps opened. The charm now floated above the hole waiting for me to retrieve it, which I did. I very gently placed it back into my pocket and stepped over the edge of the teleportation hole.

"WOOOOHOOOO!"

I never got tired of this part. I screamed loudly so I could hear myself over the rushing wind whipping at my face.

My eyes watered from the wind drying them out, but I still was able to see the white light below me approaching quickly.

I had to be ready for this or I would fall flat on my ass/face. This is the part I hated about the travelling charm hole, the sudden turn of equilibrium that would probably have most untrained karma apprentices struggling to keep their lunch down.

As soon as I was falling through the hole of light, I was being thrown up into the air. With practiced moves, I shifted my body to match the new equilibrium and landed on my feet in a crouch.

Yep, I'm a F.I.G.J.A.M' meaning...

Fuck I'm good! Just ask me.

I did a quick intake of my surroundings. I was in one of the many alleyways of New Orleans. I cracked my neck to the side and popped my knuckles.

Alright! Let's get down to business.

I finished in under an hour, which by the way almost beats my record of 50 jobs in 45 minutes.

Damn, I _am_ good.

It was getting dark out and knowing karma, she would still be pretty pissed about my absence. I better just get this over with. I made a move to reach for my teleportation charm but was unable to when I was suddenly yanked off of my feet by my collar.

What the hell?

I was too shocked to move or respond before I was shoved into a rough brown sack and encased in darkness.

How in the hell did I get stuffed in a sack!? I was a fucking spirit for Christ's sake, how did this fucker even manage to see me let alone touch me?

Oh fuck...another spirit.

Of course it was a spirit.

Because spirits capture other spirits all the time, right?

NO they did NOT! The hell was going on here!

After a moment I did scream, I screamed every curse word that came to mind

"You mother f******, c*** licking, s*** swallowing, a** eating, b**** a** p**** virgin!-" Okay, despite the contradictions of what I just said it was the best I could think of. Sadly the words _'let me go_ ' did not even occur in my mind of ' _things to say_ '.

The bag I was in was suddenly lifted off of the ground and dropped just as quickly.

I landed in a painful way.

"AH! For fucks sake! You just crushed my goddamn my taaaaail!" I groaned out in agony.

"That is no way for spirit such as yourself to talk." said a heavy Russian accent.

"F*** your grandmother!" I scream so loudly and shrill that my lungs ached. I felt myself being thrown. Oh crap, this was gonna hurt.

Thump

Okay, that hurt but not as bad as I thought it would.

No tail no foul.

I scrapped and clawed for an exit as panic set in, which was not that hard considering I had claws for finger nails. Yeah, weird to some but every karma assistant had a weird appearance. I had blue skin, orange hair, and a third eye on my forehead, and I was what was considered normal back at the temple.

I quickly shredded through the itchy and dry cloth and pushed myself through the opening I had made.

I scrambled into a crouch and my third eye was wide open, staring down the opposing threat. I was absolutely livid. My tail which I usually kept wrapped around my leg to keep it out of the way, slivered out of my pant leg and out into the open, it was five feet long, skinny, and hairless but it was also strong, quick, and sharp enough to cut through steel.

Taking in my surroundings I first caught sight of my captor. It was a big gray 'Dr. Suess' looking thing. I hissed at it and waited for an attack. When it didn't show any signs of it, I made the first move and lunged at it, teeth bared and ready to scratch its eyes out.

I would have made it too, if a big hand hadn't of grabbed me by my flimsy white t-shirt and hoisted me three feet off of the ground. Again.

"Calm yourself little naughty one!" An even thicker Russian accent voice bellowed.

Wait, I knew that nick name...oh no, not North!

I ceased my struggle and hung limply in his grasp. My third eye slowly closed as I turned around to face the giant bearded man.

He was looking at me with those 'you're in major trouble' eyes.

Heh, go figure.

I really didn't think that Karma would actually go through with her threat of 'next time you run off on your shift, I will send someone to get you'

She just had to send dear Old Nick instead of a retrieval assistant didn't she?

Well, I guess it made a little sense. I mean, I was always able to avoid retrieval assistants whenever they were sent after me.

Nick however, she knew that I wouldn't dare fight against that burly man.

Jolly, my ass.

Nick and karma were close friends and always in touch, which is trouble for me because old Saint Nick always gets me in trouble for the secret ' _naughty_ ' things that I do whenever I'm aloud out of the temple. I always wondered how he always knew about every 'mean-spirited' things I did.

Not like he had a real magic list, right? That would be the creepiest invention ever.

' _I know every single bad thing you've ever in your entire life_ '

....Hella creepy.

Yep, don't want to get on this guy's bad side.

Hm, back to the point.

Did he really have to stuff me in a sack? I mean, come on.

I thought about it for a moment. Yeeeah, he did have to do that actually. I wouldn't have fought him, but I sure as hell would have ran away.

"Heeeeeeeeey Nickolas, how ya' been? Good? I was just on my way back to the temple. Got any messages for karma? You know how she loves hearing from you. So if you could just let me down, that would be greeeeat." I said as I blinked all three of my eyes imploringly. He was a spirit too so I couldn't see his karma balance, but it would probably be pure white.

Goody-two-shoes and all that.

His glare didn't lighten up "Karma told me you are very late returning to temple, you were slacking off again weren't you, little naughty one," he said while placing me back onto the ground "and what is it that you are wearing?" He added.

I righted my shirt that had ridden up my belly when I was finally on the ground.

Ugh, the collar was stretched beyond repair.

Oh well.

I snapped my fingers and my jeans and white shirt faded away to my usual attire that consisted entirely of gold. The head set wrapped around my head connected to my ruby encrusted earrings. And my many gold chain necklaces hung low enough to cover my chest. A golden sash hung low on my hips and was held up only by mini gold chains. Large bracelets adorned both of my wrists and ankles and were encrypted with the Karma sign of equality.

This outfit was decorated with the ancient equality sign all over actually.

Basically it was the circle of black and white, Good and bad, proof of my allegiance and loyalty to the man in the moon as well as Karma.

I hated this outfit.

After a while you just get tired of wearing the same old thing that covers almost nothing.

I looked up at North and did a little spin.

"Happy now?" I asked sweetly.

He gave a small nod, "Karma would not be very pleased to find that you have not followed dress code."

I tensed. I had been warned about dress code about 300 times throughout the century and each time I was caught I was severely punished.

I scampered up to north and fell to my knees dramatically. I gripped his velvet robe and forced a couple of fake tears out of my eyes. "Oh, please North (sniffle) I would be put in an isolation box for a century if you tell her, I th-thought you c-cared more about me, I-I thought….you were better than that." I gave him the best 'puss in boots eye's' I could possibly muster.

His glare seemed to falter as he took in my tearful and nearly hysterical appearance, but then his gaze turned harder as something seemed to occur to him.

"You kicked puppy earlier, yes?" he asked me.

Well, it didn't really sound like a question, more like an accusation.

I lifted my hands up in a thinking gesture and put my fingers to my lips "define _'kick_ '." I said.

He shook his head at me and a couple of cookie crumbs from his beard fell onto my cheek. I blew them off.

I then tried to argue my case "That thing wasn't a puppy, I thought it was a hairless rat! I swear!" okay, I knew it was a dog but it sure as hell looked like a rat.

He looked at me doubtfully but finally his gaze softened and he uncrossed one tattooed arms and patted me on the head. "Alright little naughty one, I give you one more chance, then I tell karma." he said sternly.

YES! I lived off of the saying 'one more chance'. All I had to do was wait until they forgot about the ' _one more chance'_ that they gave me last time to screw up again.

I removed his hand from the top of my head and shook it gratefully "You won't regret it, I promise North!"

I reached for my teleportation charm that now hung attached to my sash and unhooked it from its place.

North stopped me though "Tut-tut little naughty one, Karma's specific instruction is to send escort for you back to temple, to make sure you face punishment, I hear rumor from messenger that you face the 'Punishment of a thousand lines' " He said.

I froze.

The punishment of a thousand lines?

No fucking way.

She wouldn't.

Not for something like being late coming back from a shift.

But…..well…I guess I have been…screwing up a lot lately….and…

….oh shit.

I can't go back.

I seriously can't go back! Not now at least.

'The punishment of a thousand lines' was code for 'a thousand spiked lashes from a whip across your back'

This was an ancient punishment used only for the truly rebellious and dangerous assistants working under karma.

It was some torture that was supposed to hold unfathomable agony.

A punishment to literally whip some sense into apprentices.

No way was I going to go and face it.

I glanced at north.

He was a nice guy and probably didn't know what this meant, which meant that he also didn't know how suddenly desperate I was to get away.

I mentally calculated my chances in escape.

If I were to just whip out my teleporting charm and try to jump into the hole, it would take too long and I would get caught. It took at least 3 seconds for the portal to open up and that was time I did not have.

Plus I needed time to set coordinates for my destination.

Crap! What should I do? Fuckfuckfuckity fuckfuck! RUN!

That's right, I could always run!

Making up my mind, I did a casual once over of the work shop to find an exit.

I saw one.

It looked as though it led into his private corridors and the doors were at the other side of the workshop.

Damn, how could I make it that far without being caught?

And at that exact moment, I saw a dopey looking elf walk by.

I would have to thank fate later.

Without giving it a second thought I snatched up the elf by my tail and bolted towards the wall.

All working in the shop ceased and it was silent in the room.

I held the elf by its small neck and spoke in a clear and loud voice "If anyone so much as moves or makes a peep, the elf gets it!" My adrenaline was pumping. Shit. what if this didn't work?

North looked shocked and I took advantage of that. I snatched my charm off of my sash and whispered the coordinates so no one else would hear them and follow me. Then I dropped the charm to the ground, still firmly holding the now blue faced elf.

When the teleporting hole was open I jumped in and threw the elf as high as I could into the air, towards the middle of the room so everyone could focus on catching it, rather than me.

They didn't disappoint.

The last thing I saw before I was all the way through the portal was all of them, yetis, elves, and Santa's alike, scrambling to catch him.

The rush of the wind and adrenaline pumping through my veins only added to my exhilarated feeling.

The light was coming up ahead and I braced myself for the shift in gravity.

I landed perfectly just like always.

But damn was it cold.

I wrapped my tail around me in a sad attempt to warm myself or to keep the freezing snow from touching my skin.

It really didn't help.

Why was it so damn cold in Washington all of a sudden? I mean, yeah it's December, but c'mon, can't I catch a break?

I couldn't go anyplace warm because the recon apprentices would expect that, they knew my favoritism of sandy beaches and expensive hotel rooms.

I was already starting to regret my place of hiding though.

I looked around and realized that I had ended up in the middle of a large neighborhood.

It must have been a friendly district judging from all of the houses which were covered in bright Christmas light. Literally every single one of them. It made slightly hesitant to intrude on one of them.

Whatever, now was not the time to be picky! I chose the house I saw with the least lights and ran over to it.

'I am not a creepy stalker, just forget about the family upstairs, you're just a temporary house guest.' I assured myself. I didn't make a habit of staying around people for too long, so this kinda felt weird. I would have slept outside if it wasn't so cold.

But Jesus, I could see my own breath and my whole body felt like it was being pricked by a thousand cold needles.

I couldn't die of Ammonia, but that didn't mean I wanted to sleep in the snow. This was why I hated my outfit, too revealing to the elements. Once I reached the house I didn't stop and ran straight through the brick wall, thankful for my ability to phase through them.

I sighed in relief once I was finally inside and enveloped in the warmth of the house. I was currently in the living room that had a conveniently seated love sofa right in front of a blazing fire place.

I almost screamed in terror when I saw a flash of red robes from the corner of my eye.

NORTH!

OH, sweet mother of Mary, it was just a man dressed in a Santa outfit! Phew, scared the piss out of me.

I eyed the man who was currently having a heavy make out session with a pretty little blonde (probably his wife) while wearing a fake white beard and long red robes. They were leaning against the overly decorated Christmas tree with a few scattered presents beneath it.

My third eye was shut so I had the right to assume that these were pretty decent people.

But seriously, what was with people? Was this some type of sex thing? Does this woman get off on the thought of banging Santa clause? Well, that's 2014 for you.

I made my way over to the love seat and sat in front of the fire to try and thaw out.

I ignored the sounds of face sucking and decided to stay here for the night. I liked the aura of the house despite the kinky couple behind me.

  
I stared at the fire crackling and wondered how it could cause so much damage, and yet stay so bright, and pure, and fucking pretty.

Lucky.

One hundred years. One hundred fucking years I had been working as a lousy assistant for karma, and for what?

A whipping of a life time? I had never asked for much. Just a little freedom.

I have the right to complain! It wasn't my fault I turned out this way. Karma had made me from scratch, personally, which was rare. She had given me my personality, my looks, even my rebellious attitude.

But what she had conveniently left out was a gender, a soul, and a name.

I had none of these.

She had said that I would have to earn them through my actions. Funny right? Considering that she's the one who fucking MADE this way.

'I wonder if they have any scotch in here' I thought wryly.

After rummaging through the cabinets I found out that they did. And it was the expensive stuff.

YAY!

I grabbed the bottle and gulped half of it down before I even made it back over to the couch.

My alcohol tolerance had grown strong over the long years of drinking, to the point where I had to drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol just to feel buzzed.

Good thing scotch was strong.

I plopped back down and let the fiery liquid blaze a trail down my throat. I was feeling kind of bad for screwing over good ol' Nick like I did, Probably should have handled it a little better than I had.

I lifted the bottle up into the air, slurred out a "TO NICKY!" and downed the rest of it.

It took about four minutes for my buzz to turn into a full a drunken state.

Some of the bits and pieces I remember about that night include me standing on top of the couch and singing at the top of my lungs "I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause" and "Merry freaking Christmas" and then crying because I knew no one could hear me…yeah… I'm a sad drunk.

But hell, I should be depressed, Karma was bound to find me sooner or later, and me running away has probably made my situation ten times worse.

Stupid spirits.

Mmmm, what would Man in the Moon have to say about my behavior?

Nothing good probably.

Yep, here I am, drunk off my ass and lying face down on the carpet of a stranger's home.

I sighed into the soft rug.

Maybe in the morning things would be better.


	2. Sack community

In my defense, I was able to avoid them for 3 whole days.

3 WHOLE days.

Which is impressive considering that there were repo assistants AND a warrant for my arrest in the out in the spiritual community.

Karma, Santa clause, Easter bunny, Tooth fairy, Sandman, Leprechaun, Ground hog, hell, even Mother Nature were after my ass. Sandman had sent the message to every spirit that would listen across the globe. The message was transferred by a golden dust bird that exploded into a message whenever it came in contact with a spirit.

Luckily, the sand note could not decipher one spirit from another so I also received one by accident. I was a little offended at they didn't confer the possibility that I would get one.

Assholes didn't consider me a high enough sprit, did they?

The message read as such:

**_To whomever this may concern,_ **

**_Please be on the lookout for a Karma assistant that seems to be out of place or acting suspiciously._ **

**_The assistant is described to be 5 ft. 3, dark blue skinned, 3 eyed, dressed in all gold, bright orange colored shoulder_ **

**_Length hair, and a thin long tail. If you see or have seen this person please alert either the spirit Karma or North Nicholas_ **

**_As soon as you are able, if at all possible, detain it if you must. Approach with caution. That is all._ **

**_\- Sand man_ **

Apparently I was in much deeper shit than I had originally thought.

I didn't fucking know that they were gonna send out an A.P.B to the whole goddamn spirit world! I mean what the hell!? It was just a dumb elf, and it's not like I even killed it!

Everyone was just over reacting!

It was only a matter of time before they hunted me down and I knew I couldn't do didly squat about it.

So I got sloppy. I tried to have as much fun as I possibly could before they dragged me back by my tail. And when they did find me, they would have a hell of a time trying to  _detain_ me.

It was a stupid plan.

I should have just holed myself up in that kinky couple's house and laid low for a couple of fifty years.

They caught me in Vegas.

In a male strip club to be exact.

Yes, I am asexual, but still, watching grown men in G-strings dancing around on stage is fucking hilarious to watch.

I was minding my own business while observing the 'eye candy' when it happened.

I saw a flash of gold sand and no sooner was I yanked into the air by my ankle.

"...THE FUCK!"

Fury blinded me as I screamed and roared. I slashed at anything I could get my claws into, which was not a lot considering I was upside down.

In my last moments of consciousness I saw a puff of golden dust being thrown into my face.

It knocked me out cold.

I dreamed of chaos.

It was beautiful.

* * *

When I woke up, I was in a sack again.

But this time I could literally feel the magic laced within its fabric.

Magic that drained my magic.

FUCK!

I was definitely getting whipped into oblivion this time.

I didn't try to struggle, I didn't have any strength left thanks to the magic draining properties that the sack had.

Ehhhh, I wonder how long it will take me to recover from the damage the whipping would do.

Probably a week at most.

A week of pain and probably 3 years in an isolation box.

Ugggghhhh.

I felt that I was being carried somewhere and heard the distinct sound someone talking.

"It's alright Sandy, I got this one, just head back to the shop and wait to greet our new little 'guardians' with the rest." An Australian accent said sulkily.

More guardian additions?

What the fuck man!? Capture a spirit convict and then meet and greet a rookie guardian in one fucking swoop?

Bullshit! I am WAY more important than any snot nosed loving kiddy mascot!

Whatever. I just hoped that they would take there sweet time in taking me back to karma.

There was some shuffling and then I felt myself being dropped rather roughly on to the hard ground.

I almost let out a surprised yelp but I bit it back.

I would give them no satisfaction in hearing how much that actually fucking hurt.

They might try to do it again.

A few moments later I heard a conversation.

"Bunny." I heard an amused voice say.

"Hello mate." The Australian accent said, "Been a long time hasn't it? Blizzard of 68 I believe, Easter Sunday, wasn't it?" He asked.

The amused voice chuckled.

"You're not still mad about that, are ya'?" He asked.

Ha, I liked this guy.

The Australian was _obviously_ still pissed.

I wonder if this kid would come rescue a fellow asshole.

The Australian didn't miss a beat "Yes." he responded angrily to the teens taunt.

"But this is about something else...fella's." He added.

I was suddenly hoisted up off of the ground and felt the bouncing sensation of running.

The young voice yelled a protest of "HEY!" The opening of the bag was opened and another person was stuffed inside with me.

I was immediately met with a freezing sensation and startled blue eyes.

I didn't miss a beat either.

"WELCOME, BROTHER, TO THE LAND OF SACK IMPRISONMENT! AL righty then, first and only rule here is do NOT step on my tail... I'm serious...I'll maim you.

I thought I saw his lips twitch a bit in amusement but it also could have just been a grimace of pain. Being in a sack is not comfortable.

"LET ME OUTTA HERE!" He yelled loudly.

A fresh new blast of cold air filled the sack when he opened his mouth to shout. I was shivering now.

Fuckin' Jesus! Was this kid made of ice!? He was moving around so erratically that he ended up kicking me in the nipple.

OW! God dammit, just because I didn't have a woman's breasts did not mean that I had the hard ass abs of a bazillion stripper!

That is a sensitive area and I did not appreciate being kicked there.

"Stop thrashing!" I hissed at him.

It was getting unbearably cold now that this frantic frost spirit was in here with me.

I could see easily into the dark because my eyes literally _glowed_ like a flash light in the dark, but he on the other hand was probably scared shitless because he was just stuffed in a sack with a pair of glowing gold eyes balls.

I sneezed.

Seriously though, why the fuck was this kid so damn cold!?

Oh wait, wait, wait, I think I've heard about a sprit like this before.

Cupid had told me something about this winter spirit that was supposedly drop dead gorgeous and as cool as ice, awhile back.

Apparently cupid had meant that literally.

I would have to remember to knock him upside the head later. That was an awful joke and he needed to be punished for it. And then I would make up for it by taking him to that awesome Vegas strip club that I was in right before I got spirit-napped.

The winter spirit kicked me on my thigh. Dangerously close to my crotch.

GAH!

Again, just because there's nothing down there does not mean that particular spot is a pleasant place to be kicked!

It hurts being kicked anywhere!

"GOD DAMMIT! I said stop thrashing! Just calm the fuck down, there's no getting outta here until we're _let out._ "

"And get the fuck off of my tail!" I growled when I felt it being crushed by his frantic movements.

I thought I heard the Australian laughing from the outside.

When he continued to thrash and carry on his fruitless struggle, I did the only logical thing that a person in my position could do.

I bit him.

"OW!" He yelped.

He stopped thrashing.

Works every time.

"Okay, now that you have stopped acting like you're the only one in this sack community, we can finally get onto introductions. Jack Frost, I presume?" I said, trying to keep my teeth from clicking together.

Before he could reply, the sack was dropped to the floor again.

I swear, if I wasn't immortal l would already be covered in bruises and scars by now.

We both toppled to the ground and landed in an unfortunate and painful position.

I screeched when his knee landed directly on my tail. He quickly removed it though and fell backwards inside of the large sack.

I snatched my tail up and began to nurse the stinging pain by putting it in my mouth. I glared at the winter spirit who I had been forced into a game of freezer twister with.

The bag's opening cracked open slightly and let in a tiny sliver of light. The light made his hair shine silver.

Oh, cupid you weren't fucking kidding. This guy was a looker. With the light I could see him much better.

Ruffled and spiked snow white hair, Pretty and vibrant blue-grey eyes, a young face with a pale glow, and pretty pale blue lips. Yep, he's pretty much got the whole pretty boy look down. He wore a dark blue hoodie and light brown leather pants, both covered in frost. He was also barefooted and clutching a staff for dear life.

His eyes were wide with shock as he took in my appearance.

"Whoa" he breathed out.

Instantly I was self-conscious "Yeah, I know, I'm blue, get over it!" I snapped through a mouth full of tail.

No one had the right to give me shit about the way I looked. I was just created that way and no matter what anyone said, it didn't matter.

I couldn't change who I was.

It still fucking hurt to be scrutinized though.

Where the heck were we anyway? I tried to untangle myself from the freezing boy only to realize that we were in a much tighter position than I had originally thought. I kept my tail in my mouth, I didn't want him crushing it anymore "Move your leg! It's trapping my waist!" I growled at him.

He lifted his leg and I began trying to shimmy out of the bag.

I stopped though.

I had almost forgotten my fate outside of this sack.

I rolled us over so that jack was above me and promptly kicked him violently out of the sack.

"HEY!" He yelled out in surprise.

I quickly followed after him and used him as a body shield.

My eyes raked over my surroundings thoroughly and I saw that I was in the workshop again.

This time instead of just yeti's surrounding me, I was surrounded by four other spirits (not counting the one that was dragged along here with me)North, the Easter bunny, the Sandman, and a humming bird thingy were all staring down at me and this freezing teen.

Oooookay.

Where the fuck was Karma? The divine punishment? The hell is going on here!?

They were all grinning widely at me and the winter spirit (that I was still using as a shield). Well, all except for the bunny. He looked agitated.

Wait. Santa, Easter bunny, Sand man...and is that the Tooth fairy?

Holy fuck, the gang was all here.

...But not Karma.

"Oooh, you've gotta be kidding me" I heard the winter spirit drawl out.

On the same boat here buddy.


	3. Indecisive feelings a a bucket

I slipped my tail around the freezing boy's neck and held it there loosely.

If anybody tried anything, at least I had a body shield to cover myself with.

The boy shifted under my touch "Um, do you mind...y'know, getting off of me?" He asked uncomfortably, fingering the tail around his throat.

I pursed my lips and made a humming sound as if I were considering it. Then I tightened my tail around his throat to a point that I knew was painful.

"Maybe, when I finally find out what's going on here I'll let you go on your merry way...maybe." Who was I kidding? I couldn't wait to get away from him, cold pale skin and frost fringed hair was pretty to look at, but I was also pretty sure that these two factors were the reason my tail was turning a darker shade of blue as each second passed.

North stepped up from the group of spirits, "Jack Frost, Little Naughty one!" He greeted warmly, completely ignoring my tight grip on the frost spirit.

...well fuck, roll with it.

I wiggled my fingers at him in greeting and rested my chin on my cold captives shoulder. "Helloooo Nick." I drawled out lazily. "How's it goin'? Good?"

North frowned and crossed his arms over that long beard of his. "It's not so good." He said.

"Oh? What could possibly be wrong in the North Pole workshop filled with toys cookies and cheer!?" I exclaimed dramatically. North didn't elaborate any further though, he switched subjects instead.

"I hope yeti's treat you well, yes?" He asked.

I snorted, "No, North, no they did not. I got my ass kicked left and right in a sack, got my tail stepped on by a hard headed winter spirit, and now I am currently magic exhausted because of the damned bewitchment on the sack!" I hissed at him. "I am not happy."

"Oh? Well how about you Jack Frost?" North asked my captive.

"Are you kidding? Best freaking ride of my life, I loved being manhandled, shoved into a sack with a rabid Smurf, and thrown into a magic portal." He replied in monotone.

I brought my leg up and swiftly kneed the teen in his lower back. He arched forward and let out a hiss of pain. "Mind repeating that?" I asked him.

A large hand reached out and pulled us apart, my tail choking Jack a bit, "Alright you two, break it up!" North chastised.

Okay, time to let go of the bodyshield boy. I slowly removed my tail from around his neck, "Yes daddy." I said sulkily.

"So, back to introductions! Jack, you know bunny, obviously." North said. Jack smirked, "Obviously." he repeated back.

North nodded happily, "But Naughty one, I assume you do not know him?" North asked. I shook my head, "Nope, never met him. It's a pleasure by the way." I said, nodding in the general direction of the giant rabbit. My eyes were still lazily trying to search the room for any escape routes. My search was cut off by the annoying buzz of what sounded like a humming bird hovering in front of my face.

I recognized this little thing. Or at least the type of assistant it was. "Tooth fairy assistant, right?" I asked the tiny hummingbird fairy. It nodded its tiny head briskly and I held out its small hand for me to shake. I suppressed a snicker and gave it my index finder. After that quick exchange, it flittered off to go join the majority that had gathered around Jack's head, and began to swoon.

Sure, it wings were annoying, but I at least got a little respect for other assistants. Hell, it's a thankless job with no pay, AND we have to do it for eternity. It's not easy.

"And this is Tooth Fairy." North continued on to say.

Said fairy flittered over to Jack and pried open his mouth, "Hello Jack! I've heard a lot about you and your teeth!" She said excitedly.

Jack reared back a bit in shock, "Wait, my what?"

"Open up. Are they really as white as they say? Oh!" She gasped in delight, "They really do sparkle like freshly fallen snow!"

The other miniature fairies clustered around his head and batted their eyelashes at him adoringly. Who would have thought that weird little fairy birds had a sex drive for below Celsius teenage boys? "Come on girls, let's not disgrace the uniform!" Big Tooth Fairy berated them.

She then flittered over to me and made a move towards my mouth. I jerked back before she could touch me and lifted up a finger in warning, "Hey now, I bite." I warned her.

She blushed a bit with her oddly featherless face, and retracted her hands quickly. Everything she did seemed to be done quickly, like she couldn't rest for the slightest moment. Must be the hummingbird thing, "Sorry! It's just that I've never heard about you before and...uh, no that came out wrong and..I don't have any archives of a Karma assistants teeth, because, you know, they don't really lose their teeth, but I've heard that there spectacular!" She babbled.

Mmhm, yeeeeah, no, I needed to get the hell out of this place. I slowly reached for my transportation charm.

My fingers grabbed at air.

I froze.

Oh dear sweet Mary, no No NO!

I was now gripping at my uniform much more obviously and loudly jiggling the chains, but I couldn't bring myself to calmly search for my misplaced charm. My charm is always on my sash, it's ALWAYS on my fucking SASH!

I heard North click his tongue disapprovingly at me, "Looking for this, Naughty one?" He asked me.

I felt my whole body go rigid once again with that one statement.

I closed my eyes and restrained myself from balling my hand into a white knuckled fist knowing that my extended talons would cut into my skin.

I turned back to North with a forced sweet smile, "Well, North, it's seems you've got me!" I laughed, my tail swishing back and forth behind me. It was a sign of blatant annoyance, but they didn't know that. "I hereby officially surrender!" I lied through gritted teeth.

Of course I wasn't going to surrender, even when I convince myself that my hour is up and that I should accept my fate, I still never surrender.

It's just not in my blood to give up. If I see a chance, I take it, quick, clean, and without remorse…and if I ever do go down...well, it would probably be a good idea to keep your distance, because I'm taking down as many people as I can, with me.

North grinned widely, "Glad to see you finally understand, now I assume you know Sandy, no?" he asked. Yep, I'd met him, and that Sandy spirit was currently knocked out cold while he floated midair.

"Sandy? Sandy! Wake up!" North exclaimed.

The small man jolted awake and continued to approach Jack and I, all smiley and shit.

"Mmhm, hi Sandy, I saw that little message you sent out to every fricking spirit! Dude, what the hell!? I thought we were cool!" I said to Sandy, doing my best to look offended.

I'd only met Sandy twice before, but we had gotten along well enough. Sandy just gave me a sheepish grin and a small shrug.

I gave him a withering glare before the familiar weight of North's palm settled on my shoulder and I was forcefully turned around to face the winter spirit who was also being turned.

"Now, for final introduction!" North said, "Jack Frost, this is Little Naughty one, Little Naughty one, Meet Jack Frost!"

There was an awkward beat of silence as we both just stood there.

Okay… So, now what?

The silence dragged on for so long that I caved and started talking, just to get rid of the awkward tension.

"...So, I, um, assume that you're here against your will as well? Y'know, on account of the sack?" I asked conversationally.

His lips tilted up at the corner in a half smile, "Yeah, about that," He looked up at North, "Want to explain what all this is about? I must have done something really bad to get all four of you here."

I sucked in a panicked breath and lifted my hand up to make a swishing motion at my neck, the obvious signal to 'shut the hell up!'

You don't TALK about the punishment, you ignore it until someone forgets to punish! Blend in and people get distracted by other much more important things!

"Am I on the naughty list?" He asked, removing his shoulder from North's grip and freezing an elf as he sauntered away. Okay, he obviously gives no shits about punishment or authority, good for him, but he really needs to shut up right about now.

North laughed, "Naughty list? You hold the record."

My eyes snapped up to North. Yeah right, that frost boy wishes he was better at mayhem than me.

I breathed chaos when in my element.

"We no longer are living in past, we overlook and are wiping the slate clean." North said. I perked up instantly at what sounded like a get out of jail free card that I honestly could not be more surprised by.

"Oh yeah? How come?" Jack asked.

The giant bunny in the corner scoffed, "Ah, good question." He grumbled.

North positively beamed at the question though, "How come? I tell you how come! Because now," he paused for dramatic effect, "You both are Guardians!"

What?

Yeti's all around us started lighting ceremonial torches and elves were jumping down off large Columns while holding banners before I could even get my thoughts together.

It all happens in a sudden burst of loud noises and too much movement. Out of nowhere there are 30 elves and yetis circling us, and their all stomping around, trying to shove paper flower necklaces around our necks. I can barely hear Jack shout, "What are you doing! Get that offa me!" Before he is drowned out by the thundering horns and drums.

Everything's too fucking loud!

"This is the best part!" North somehow manages to yell over the noise.

A marching band of elves with more fucking instruments enter the room and I feel about ready to bolt. I keep trying to edge away from everything but I keep getting blocked by the giant Yeti's and tripping over the tiny elves at my feet, I'm being cornered from every side and anxiety is building up to the point that my mind is going blank aside from the one command that resonates inside my head.

'Run!" It's like a mantra, over and over again, "Run! Go, get away from here! Get the fuck out!"

I wasn't okay with this, I was not the cause of this chaos, I wasn't in control, and everything just kept on pushing. It wasn't helping that the feral part of my brain was screaming at me, 'Threat, threat, get away from the threat! Run! Run! Run!' either.

I felt my tail harden into a sharpened point. My third eye was already opened wide and flickering to random spots of the room, just trying to make sense of the mess unfolding. My nerves finally came to a head when someone actually tried to grab me.

I hissed violently and curled into myself on the ground "FUCK OFF!" I growled at the yeti's trying to grab me.

This was not okay, this was SO not fucking okay! Everything just kept on getting louder and louder and more crowded, so freaking crowded, my head felt like it was going to explode.

A sudden Crack vibrated through the ground and I was blown back by a strong gust of wind, which is not a good combination while crouching on slippery ice. Which for some dumb reason, I was currently doing. I fell back roughly and the back of my head hit the frosted marble floor hard enough that I saw black patches in my vision.

Everything in the room came to a halt like when I snatched up that elf, no more music, thank God.

"Shit, my head!" I groaned out in pain. I brought my knees up to my chest and curled my toes as I tried to breathe through the pain.

"Ow ow owwww, you guys are assholes."

A cold hand reached down and hoisted me up by my wrists, pulling me off of the floor, "You okay?" Jack asked me.

My head hurt so bad that I couldn't even come up with and angry reply, "Whatever." I mumbled, clutching my head. Jack turned to the Guardians and glared, "What makes you think I want to be a Guardian?" He asked.

"Um...I.." I said, trying to blink the tears of pain out of my eyes, "I second that, I thought this was about the whole elf and Karma thing, I never asked to be a part of your crew, North." I told him, still confused as to why he would even offer. I wasn't a real spir-did I just insult myself? Whatever- I was part of the lowest ranking spirit class, an assistant. This didn't make the least bit of sense.

Spirits like me don't get offers like this, and I didn't want an offer like this. As much as I bitched and moaned about my job, and as much as I hated the restricted freedom, I actually genuinely love my job. I had fully expected to be dragged back, hell, I had counted on being dragged back. Sure. I wanted to avoid that whipping punishment for as long as possible, but I never intended to leave forever.

What the hell else would I be doing for the rest of eternity? Knitting?

North laughed boisterously, then his expression turned serious, "Of course you want to be Guardian, now start back music!"

"No music!" Jack yelled. I grabbed an elf by its hat with my tail, "Play anymore music and I'll bite your head off," I warned, flashing my sharp incisors at the creature. It flinched and then its eyes rolled up into the back of its head. Ah, it fainted.

With the added headache the fall gave me, I would not be able to withstand the blaring music again. I hadn't fared well when the music had first started up. I flung the elf away from me, "No music." I announced to everyone, repeating the words of Jack.

Jack slowly backed away from the crowd, "Look, this is all very flattering, but ah… you don't want me." Jack said as he nimbly hopped up onto a desk and kept walking. "You're all hard work and deadlines, and I'm snowballs and fun times. I'm not a Guardian."

"That's what I said!" Giant Bunny interrupted. Jack ignored him, "So… if you'll excuse me, I'm outta here." He began to walk off, and I was all for hitching an escape with him, but the Tooth Fairy swooped in and brought his attention to the globe.

"Jack, I don't think you understands what this means." She said.

She gestured to the giant globe, "Each of those lights is a child." She said.

Jack looked up at the globe and all of its thousands of lights. Pretty...yeah, but that's relevant why?

North pushed the small of my back forward gently to where the Tooth Fairy and Jack stood and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Those lights are the children that believe. And good or bad, naughty or nice, we protect them." North said as he glanced over at Jack.

"Tooth, fingers out of mouth." The Tooth fairy smiled embarrassedly and pulled her hands back out of Jack's mouth. "Oops, sorry. Their beautiful by the way." She tells Jack.

I watched her warily as she passed, keeping my jaw clenched tight, then turned to North, "Okay dude, cut the crap, why are we really here? I'm sure I can list at least 50 other spirits who would be more qualified than me, real spirits too. I'm an assistant, North. I've got no business being here."

North sighed tiredly, "Okay, no more wishy-washy! Pitch is out there doing who knows what!"

"You mean the boogeyman?" Jack laughed.

I gave North a flat stare, "And why should I care about that?" I asked him.

North shook his head angrily, "No, you do not understand. When Pitch threatens us, he threatens them as well." North pointed at the lights in the globe.

"All the more reason to pick someone more qualified!" Jack said as he stalked off. I followed closely behind, hoping that he knew the exit out of this place.

"Pick? You think we pick? You two were chosen, just like we all were. By Man in Moon." North called after us.

I stopped walking immediately. Lucky too, because I would have ran straight into Jack if I hadn't stopped. The frost spirit turned around slowly to look at the group.

"What?" he asked, looking absolutely dumbfounded.

No.

"Last night, Jack Frost, Naughty one, he chose the two of you." North said quietly.

No, he didn't.

The bunny scoffed again, "Maybe."

Jack was still blinking rapidly as if he were completely baffled, "The Man in the Moon, h-he talks to you?" he asked.

North nodded solemnly, "You cannot say no, it is destiny."

I finally snapped when he said that and gave into the urge to chuck the large gingerbread house on the table near me. I lifted it up and smashed it down into a thousand little pieces.

"THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT!" I screamed at North. I stamped on the remainder of the cookie house with my bare foot until the majority was dust, "As I keep telling you, North, I am an assistant. Nothing more, nothing less. Karma would never fuckin' allow this! Does she that your're trying to steal one of her workers?" My anger still hadn't simmered down. What else is in here that I can break?

North approached me slowly, as if I were a skittish animal, "I have talked to Karma already, Naughty on. She has allowed you permission to become Guardian."

I felt sick.

I need a bucket.


	4. Being forceful gets you places

"Everyone get the fuck out!" I screamed in between burning surges of bile. When there was nothing else, I continued to dry heaved painfully and draped my arms around the toilet bowl.

The Yeti holding back my hair made a gruff sympathetic noise. I spit the bitter taste out of my mouth a couple times and groaned in pain at the clenching of my stomach.

When I was fairly sure that I was done, I turned to glare at the 5 spirit's crammed into what should have been a fairly sizable bathroom. They all watched from the sidelines, concerned, but not concerned enough to risk getting puked on.

With a sweaty cheek pressed against the cushioned toilet seat, I gave them the best snarl I could manage, "Get out!"

"Are you feeling better now?" North asked, taking a tentative step forward.

I forced down another round of sickness that the question invoked.

"You assholes got me fired. _**Fix it**_ **."** I demanded, lifting myself up with trembling arms. These fucking idiots thought that I would just roll over and do what they said just because I didn't have a job, a purpose, anymore?

No, fuck that. I'd kill them all before I let that happen.

North continued to make his way over to me. I hissed in warning. "North, back off." He continued to slowly come closer.

Teeth bared, I tried again. "I am warning you, North."

He _wasn't_ _ **stopping.**_

My eyes flickered down to the floor and I made a mental line there. If he crossed that certain point, I would fucking blind him.

There was a sharp intake of breath, "Okaaay, I think it's time we give this girl a break." It was the winter spirit who spoke. "Y'know, _before_ she flips out and tries to bite your fingers off. I don't know about you, but like my appendages where they are...so, if you'll just excuse me."

My eyes snapped towards him, "I'm not a fucking girl. I'm not a fucking _anything,_ and never will be, because _them._ " I spat. "No gender, no name, no meaning. _**Fix it,**_ or I swear to The Man in the Moon, I will burn down everything you have ever loved with nothing but a gallon of gasoline and a matchbox!"

It wouldn't be hard. I would just have to evenly distribute the flammable liquid into every piece of wood and cloth I could find, then manually spread the fire for as long as I could stand the heat. The yeti's would be a problem, but it was nothing a little tear gas and a jar of fleas couldn't handle.

North stopped trying to come forward, just before crossing the boundary that I had invisibly marked. "I believe we need to talk. Everyone, give us a moment please." said North.

The spirits quickly shuffled out of the room, looking far too disturbed at the threat that I made.

I glared at North when they had all left and headed towards the sink to wash my mouth out. "Well," I said to North, "start talking. I want to know how the fuck you're going to rectify this."

North sighed, "Naughty one, I do not believe that you understand what we are offering you-" I snorted, "this is a chance to make an imprint on the world. This is a chance to spread hope and joy to children, everywhere." North's voice filled with a warm affection for the topic.

I remained silent, staring at his reflection in the bathroom cabinet mirror without turning around.

"I will not pretend to understand what it is like to suddenly lose one's purpose in life like you yourself have, but this is your door that has opened now that one has been closed. It is new chapter in your life, and I can tell you, this job is _worth it._ The joy that guardians are able to give, makes every bit of work _worth it."_

North spread his arms out and pointed to the ground, " _This_ right now, your decisions _right now,_ is what is going to define you." North took a large step forward and laid a heavy hand on my shoulder. "You have the choice to be and do something better than what have been doing. This is the chance to find your center."

I blinked and turned around slowly, eyes settling on the brightly colored red and green marble flooring.

North had over stepped the invisible line.

I slashed my tail across his face and ducked away from his arm. There was a pained roar and I didn't so much as open the door, as I pretty much tackled it off its hinges because I was in too much a fucking rush to remember, hey, doorknob.

The other spirits weren't there in the hallway so I was free to run without any obstacles interfering.

'Okay, first things first, get the _fuck_ out of here. Problem, no teleportation charm. Another problem, miles upon miles of fucking snow that I won't be able to cross on foot before they caught up to me. Shit shit shi-' I turned a sharp corner and ran smack dab into a freezing chest.

I stumbled back violently, almost falling over in the process. When I realized who the hell I had just ran into, a mixture of hope and desperation came into play.

"YOU!" I said, grabbing the front of his frost covered hoodie.

Startled blue eyes widened, "What? Yeah, me." he tried to remove my hands, but I had dug my claws into the fabric, "The very confused and somewhat disturbed guy you are currently latched onto. Can you let go?" he asked.

I pulled him closer, "You, can you fly? Can you teleport, can you do _anything_ to get us the fuck out of here?" came the stream of rushed words.

He seemed even more put off by the desperation in my voice. "Flying? Um, well, yeah. I was actually just about to do that while you and big guy were-"

"GREAT! Wonderful, lets do that now! _Right_ now. Where is the exit? You know what, never mind, there's a window over there!" I removed my hands from his hoodie and got behind him, jumping and latching my arms and legs around him like some weird koala bear.

He made a squeak-like noise and attempted to throw me off "Hey!" he protested loudly.

I dug my nails into his throat and be stilled, "Fucking jump through that window **right now.** "

"Uh, okay, okay. Just, um. Get your claws off my throat first." he said slowly. I didn't have _time_ for slow! I took my nails off his neck and hissed, "Happy!? Now go, before they catch us! There isn't any time for questions or any of that bullshit, now go!" I said as I pointed at the stained glass window at the end of the corridor.

Jack winced, "Um, wouldn't North be _really_ pissed off if we broke one of his windows?"

I bit harshly onto one of his cold ears and growled, " _ **GO!**_ "

Finally, FINALLY he started to make his way towards the window. "Faster, or we'll never break through." I told him. He picked up the pace. "Faster!" He was sprinting now and almost at the window.

A second before impact, I shut my eyes, buried my face into his cold shoulder, and wrapped my tail around his waist in preparation for the razor storm we were about to go through.

* * *

 

Violent whipping winds carried us. I could feel it. The bite of the cold air that just kept on lifting and lifting. It made my face and skin go numb, but hell, at least we were getting somewhere.

"Okay," said Jack, "You have some explaining to do missy."

"I'm not a chick, I thought I had made that perfectly clear before." I said without opening my eyes for fear that lingering glass would get inside.

"Well, you sort of look like one, you're all tiny looking, and prissy like your PMS-ing 24-7." he said with an irritated edge. Probably still mad that I had made him jump through a window.

"Well, if you're so fucking bothered with my bitching, just drop me at the first beach we see." I said, pulling a stray piece of glass from my hair. The trek back to Karma's temple would be a bit difficult without my teleportation charm, but I planned to make it.

Jack scoffed, "Are you kidding!? Do you even know how far that is? I'm dropping you off at the first sign of people I see."

"Good luck with that, no one lives in the North Pole, that's why fucking Santa lives here." I said, thumping him in back of the head.

Once I had shaken the glass from my hair and decided it was safe to open my eyes and look down, I squeezed Jack's neck so tightly that he had had to frantically pull at the arms strangling him just so that he could breathe.

He laughed breathlessly when I loosened my grip, "You scared of heights?" he asked.

"No." I answered stiffly, "I just so happened to realize that if you drop me, I will _fall_ a terrifying distance and will have nothing to stop me from being lost forever in 14 ft snow. Forgive me if I seem a bit _uncomfortable._ Dick."

Jack seemed to think about this "True. I also could drop you right now for being so rude to me."

And he probably thought it was just the funniest thing to have suddenly dropped down abruptly 20 feet in the air. I couldn't help it, I gave a half-angry, half-terrified screech which the idiotic spirit laughed at.

"I LITERALLY WILL KILL YOU!" I shouted when he started flying normally again. "Maybe not now, but when we land you better start running before I rip your goddamn guts out!"

"Thanks for the warning, Naughty." He snickered.

Naughty?

"What?" I asked.

He hummed in what sounded like amusement. "You don't have a name, right? Well, North calls you Naughty, so thats kind of a name. I mean, if you have anything else, I'd love to hear the name of the 'Other' that is currently wrapped around my back. It's only proper, with you being my "Sack Community Neighbor" and all that.

Okay, this guy is making a lot of assumptions right now. First my gender, now this. Fuck this guy, if I get a choice, I'm choosing boy out of spite.

"Psh, what do you mean, ' _neighbor_!?'. I was gonna be a fucking _leader_. I was going to take that community to new heights, better fabric quality, higher thread count. I was gonna liberate us from the cloth of poverty."

"Yup, cloth poverty is certainly a problem, but I would much rather hear about why you rushed out of North's workshop like your life depended on it." Jack said.

"Mhm, well, you're a pretty cool dude, Frost, Soooo," I said, picking at the strings of the boys hoodie, "want to know how I screwed everything up and just made you an accomplice to the assault of a very well-known spirit?"

"What!?"

**Author's Note:**

> So....update?


End file.
